Sunday, July 27, 2008

7.27.08

Top Stories

Shiite Militia in Baghdad Sees Its Power Ebb
Mahdi Army announces bake sale to improve image / revenue

After Iowa Raid, Immigrants Fuel Labor Inquiries
Meatpackers get "uppity" after reading Sinclair's "Jungle"

Cocaine Sustains War Despite Rebel Losses in Colombia
Sleepless rebels ask for re-supply of disco-balls and satin shirts


QUOTATION OF THE DAY

"The armed groups are like malaria, evolving to resist eradication and killing with efficiency." - Paraquad Militia CEO "Legs" Mcneil in a speech to U.S. Military Contractors Symposium describing proposed use of wheelchairs in combat.


WORLD


In Zimbabwe Talks, Who Will Get the Real Power?
Robert Mugabe will kill for your support

At Least 29 Killed in Explosions in Indian City
Officials deny negligent over-use of curry powder and patchouli

China Doubts Bus Blasts Are Linked to Separatists
Officials claim explosions result of low-quality U.S. imports


U.S.


THE FUTURE OF READING
Literacy Debate: Online, R U Really Reading?
Teens ask WTF do U think?

BUSINESS

Congress Sends Housing Relief Bill to Bush
Prez gives relief to negligent lenders, remorse to ignorant borrowers

Can Hank Paulson Defuse This Crisis?
Treasury secretary pitches privatization of profit and socialization of risk

F.D.I.C. Takes Over 2 Banks
Chairman Sheila Bair proposes CFO garage sales to make up bad debt

Saturday, July 26, 2008

Riffing On The Times 7-26-08

TOP STORIES


California Bars Restaurant Use of Trans Fats
Lipo-Surgeons March In Protest

Bush and McCain Seem to Diverge in Foreign Policy
But most suspect McCain has simply forgotten the policy


City and State Brace for Drop in Wall Street Pay
Feds clear way for Top Exec pay raises


QUOTATION OF THE DAY

"I have had a very adventurous life, but not because I have an adventurous nature or yearned for a life full of adventure. Fate just wanted it this way."
Presidential presumptive John McCain on his captivity in Viet Nam and the resulting political career

WORLD

4,000 U.S. Combat Deaths, and Just a Handful of Images
Bloodless wars in Iraq and Afghanistan frustrate photo-journalists

Power Rising, Taliban Besiege Pakistani Shiites
Further confusing presidential candidate John McCain

Hole in Fuselage Forces Qantas 747 to Land
Pilots swear it wasn't there when they took off

U.S.

OSHA Seeks $8.7 Million Fine Against Sugar Company
Lack of Federal funding causes agency to seek funds elsewhere

Prosecutors State Case in First Guantánamo Trial
Claims Bin Laden driver was evil genius behind the wheel



BUSINESS


Weight Drives the Young to Adult Pills, Data Says
Internet and Ho-Ho diet lead to unrealistic body image and drug abuse

Plummeting Resale Values Lead Chrysler to End Leases
Suburban soccer-moms pulled from their vehicles and left stranded


YOUR MONEY

Danger Lurks When Shopping for Student Loans
Bankers find new "vehicle" for driving students into bankruptcy

Saturday, July 19, 2008

7-19-08


TOP STORIES


Bush, in Shift, Accepts Idea of Iraq Timeline
Says he was unaware linear time was not available to brown peoples

Felons Seeking Bush Pardon Near a Record
White-collar crime holiday slated for last day of office

A Veil Closes France’s Door to Citizenship
"We don't want people sucking fine French wine through facial fabric," says French leaders.

QUOTATION OF THE DAY

"I would never have imagined that they would turn me down because of what I choose to wear." - Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia on his colleagues' rebuffing his invitation to a "What are you hiding under your robe?" party on the mall.


WORLD

Taliban Threaten to Kill Officials Held Hostage
Taliban foreign policy nothing if not consistent

U.S. Position Complicates Global Effort to Curb Illicit Arms
Current administration uncomfortable with progress of any kind

Cuba to Grant Private Farmers Access to Land
Capitalism still better than starving to death


U.S.

AMERICAN EXCEPTION
U.S. Is Alone in Rejecting All Evidence if Police Err
Prosecutors not averse to creating evidence if needed

4 Killed as Huge Crane Topples at a Houston Refinery
Union Crane Operators blamed by Bush administration for high oil prices

Politics Has Dissidents Talking to A.F.L.-C.I.O.
Progressives continue looking for "more useful affiliation" than Democratic Party


BUSINESS

Who wants to drive a millionaire?
Billionaires see upwardly mobile millionaires as "quaint"

Cuba ends ban on private taxis
Capitalism still better than walking

Uncomfortable Answers to Questions on the Economy
Are American bankers corrupt? Yes. Will American Taxpayers bail them out? Not by choice. Will someone prevent the continued looting of the U.S. treasury by private interests? Apparently not. Should Congress be dismissed? Probably.

Trading in Soccer Talent
Athletes viable commodity for owners flirting with human trafficking.

Citigroup Posts $2.5 Billion Loss on Write-Downs
23 to 30 percent interest may be too much for economically challenged consumers. (editor - Duh)

SPORTS

REDS 5, METS 2
Reds win.

YANKEES 7, OAKLAND 1
Yankees win.

Echo of the Past, Norman Storms the British Open
Brits not calling for drug testing of ancient golf pro with unusually renewed vigor

ARTS

A High-Seas Show With Gay Family Values
U.S. Navy celebrates merger of maritime reality with Republicon rhetoric

THEATER REVIEW | 'EH George'
Words Fail Him, but Memories Can’t Be Silenced
A post-presidential Bush wrestles with the damage he's left in his wake, still unable to find the simple phrase "I'm so sorry for selling you out"


TRAVEL

Seizing the Day in Tel Aviv
"Carpe Diem" replaces "Carpe Terra" as Israeli slogan amidst emerging nuclear neighbors


JOURNEYS | VIETNAM

The Mekong, Seen Over Handlebars
Vietnamese far ahead on sustainable living and energy conservation.


EDITORIALS

Black Marks for the Red Cross
Pursuit of the general welfare makes congress look bad - insists on invasive regulations

Another Species in Danger
"Trustworthy bankers" in danger of disappearing forever, assuming they existed in the first place

Mr. Rangel’s Many Friends
Representative Charles B. Rangel has an excellent record of public service - so he must be hiding something.

Sunday, April 20, 2008

NYTimes April 16, 2008

TOP STORIES


Big Tax Breaks for Businesses in Housing Bill
Homeless constituents huddling in capitol's doorways thank Congress for all their hard work

McCain Outlines Broad Proposals for U.S. Economy
Broads will be required to give up their jobs to support "family values".

Iraqi Unit Flees Post, Despite American’s Plea

Abu-Garib commander suggests return to use of dog-collars and leashes.


QUOTATION OF THE DAY


"There is nothing wrong with it — it’s not illegal. But it’s ugly."
WILLIAM H. GROSS, chief investment officer of Pacific Investment Management, on wearing garter belts, fish-nets and strap-ons while screwing their small investors.

OPINION

Right Fight, Wrong Word
In the Campaign Stops blog, Dan Schnur, a Republican political analyst, talks about why he needs to prove Barack Obama is an elitist. "Seriously, we'd rather run against Hillary if it's all the same to the Democrats."

WORLD

French Bill Takes Chic Out of Being Too Thin
Legislators complain skeletal mistresses insult pompous chefs, France's chief export.

Dozens Killed in Bombings in Four Iraqi Cities
American commanders suggest munitions manufacturing may be key to salvaging Iraqi economy. "The Iraqis should do what they're good at."

Protest by Zimbabwe’s Opposition Falters as the Army Makes a Show of Force
Opposition leaders initiate operation "Run & Hide", forget to tell followers.


U.S.

THE POPE'S VISIT
Pope, in U.S., Is ‘Ashamed’ of Pedophile Priests
Hopes ordering them to stand in a corner until mass is over will teach them a lesson.


‘The Lord Wants Us Here,’ Texas Pilgrims Say of Pope Visit
Pilgrims hope Pontiff will bestow on them The Lord's promise of Green Cards as well.

Bleak Stories Follow a Lawsuit on Oklahoma Foster Care
Children claim foster-care workers forced them to sing Rogers & Hammerstein tunes as extras in State-sponsored musical.


nytimes.com/theater

Morgan Freeman in "The Even-Tempered & Wise Best-Friend Guy"
Also in Theater:
• Harvey Fierstein in "It Really Hurts Me To Talk & Sing".
• David Hyde Pierce in "Another Effeminate Male Supporting Role".
• Laurence Fishburne in "Morpheus Rules!".


BUSINESS

Wall Street Winners Get Billion-Dollar Paydays
Wall Sreet Losers Get 401K Plans

Merck Wrote Drug Studies for Doctors
Company spokesman claimed Drug Giant was only trying to accommodate busy professionals.

Delta’s Chief Faces Skeptics as He Tries to Sell a Deal With Northwest
Airline employees want contractual promise that, get this, there won't be any layoffs after merger.


SPORTS

METS 6, NATIONALS 0
Mets win. 'Nuff said.

YANKEES 5, RAYS 3
Yankees getting their money's worth.

Putting Scandals in Past, Officials See Gains on Doping

Olympic Committee chief there's no reason to suspect anyone is doping anymore - the athletes, that is. Judges are another matter.



ARTS


On a New Album, Not Merely Acting Like a Singer
Zooey Deschanel can sing so you should buy her records as well as see her movies because one successful career just isn't enough for this ungrateful recipient of Hollywood nepotism.


VIDEO GAMES


Exploring Fantasy Life and Finding a $4 Billion Franchise
School-age girls find virtual retreat from sex & violence-soaked popular culture.

A Creator of Captain America, Fighting On
Superhero's strength and copyright lawyers needed to fight Hollywood villainy.

DINING & WINE

What’s for Dinner? The Pollster Wants to Know
Fast-food voters want instant gratification, not political nutrition.

One Cook, Thousands of Seders
What the hell are "seders"?

Too Much Heat in the TV Kitchen?

Gordon Ramsey needs his ass kicked.

EDITORIALS

Guns and Bitter
Bitter gun nuts hold primary hostage in Pennsylvania


The Limits of the Death Penalty
Supreme Court considers constitutionality of spitting and pissing on corpse.

Mr. Berlusconi’s Comeback
Italian prime minister promises beautiful women, fast cars and pasta on every table.

New Jersey’s Immigration Crackdown
State attorney general’s office changes official policy from "cracking spic heads" to "detaining persons of unknown immigration status with approved techniques while in public view".


OP-ED

OP-ED COLUMNIST
Eggheads and Cheese Balls
MAUREEN DOWD chimes in with the conservative choir's latest song and dance: Barack Obama is an out-of-touch elitist who we really, really, really, really don't want to run against in the general election. So vote for Hillary.

Topics in University Security: Lockdown 101
JAMES ALAN FOX thinks we should just chillax when it comes to college security. "It's really gonna ruin the campus buzz, yo."

Fear and Learning on Campus
ALICE MATHIAS thinks the ratings bonanza from school shootings will create more crimes of fame.

God and Man at Notre Dame
KENNETH L. WOODWARD hopes Pope Benedict XVI doesn't re-institute the use of thumb-screws in Catholic colleges and universities.

Friday, April 18, 2008

NYTime, Friday, April 18, 2008

TOP STORIES

Workers Get Fewer Hours, Deepening the Downturn
Promise overtime pay without more work will "stimulate" the economy

Benedict Meets With the Victims of Sexual Abuse
Wears Extra Long Robe And Promises Special Vatican Treats

Across Globe, Empty Bellies Bring Rising Anger
U.S. Farmers Suggest Filling Them With Ethanol

WORLD

Past Deals by N. Korea May Face Less Study
U.S. Says Looking Too Closely At The Past Hinders Present Plans

U.S. Begins Erecting Wall in Sadr City
Study finds more erections sorely needed in humorless community

A British Leader’s Day With President No. 43 and 44
Brits abandon names for interchangeable U.S. leaders

U.S.

Raising the Ante With Liquor Sales Bid
N'Orleans natives say hard-liquor key to recovering from "Federal Aid"

Inquiry Stays as HUD Chief Is Set to Leave
Bush admits he should never have trusted someone named "Alphonso"

Busy Day at Court Handling Sect’s Children
Court decides 416 polygamist children should be sent to 208 monogamous foster homes.


BUSINESS

Google Defies the Economy and Reports a Profit Surge
Proves "virtual" dollars beat real dollars any day

Iceland, a Tiny Dynamo, Loses Steam
Volcanic growth cooled by oceanic isolation and Bjork fatigue.

Sticker Shock in the Organic Aisles
As predicted, Americans prefer to eat cheap crap.



ARTS


Record Stores Fight to Be Long-Playing
New marketing scheme claims listening to vinyl can increase sexual-longevity.



MOVIES


MOVIE REVIEW | 'FORGETTING SARAH MARSHALL'
There’s Just No Getting Away From an Old Flame, Even in Hawaii
Another hilarious adventure featuring that fat little Jewish guy and some other Jewish guys doing, I dunno, funny Jewish stuff.

MOVIE REVIEW | 'THE FORBIDDEN KINGDOM'
One More Time, Everybody Is Kung Fu Fighting
Jet Li vs Jackie Chan? I am SO there! Yo, tell everybody on the lacrosse team!


EDITORIALS

Whose Privilege?
Has congress finally grown some balls? Is Cheney finally too old to shoot straight? Stay tuned...

Still Waiting in Zimbabwe
...for the world to give a shit, or for Mugabe to kick it - whichever comes first.

Construction and Hard Times
You can't build it if they don't come.


OP-ED

Clinging to a Stereotype
Another spin-doctor tries to convince you working class Americans aren't bitter, bigoted or self-righteous when times get tough. Obama told it like it is, Yo.

OP-ED COLUMNIST
And another....That's right, this is a Hilary newspaper. Now I get it.

Our Neighbor, the Pope
How to warm-up to a Ratzenburger-meister-burger.